Divorce is among the biggest stressors of modern life. There are very good reasons that divorce appears on the Greatest Stresses of Life lists that include loss of job and death of loved ones. Divorce is always difficult, and not solely when there is great contention between the divorcing parties. Divorce is stressful when the finality of legal separation is amicable. When we marry, we connect to another person legally, emotionally, psychologically, and financially. Like roots of different trees growing underground, our various resources become intertwined. Disconnecting them takes an enormous amount of work, and the energy expended can cause a level of stress never before imagined.
Divorce During the Holidays
When divorce occurs and its attendant feelings are present and prominent during the holidays, the emotional toll that stress takes on us can be great. The attorneys of Kallemeyn & Kallemeyn are experts in the legal processes associated with divorce and offer insight, perspective, and concrete strategies for beginning the healing process following a divorce. Below you will find some suggestions as you embark on this difficult journey.
- Plan ahead: If you know that your old traditions are bound to cause undue stress, consider going on vacation during the holidays.
- Establish new traditions: If you can hold on to traditions without too much upset, great. But you also have a right to establish new traditions, perhaps with new people in your life.
- Reassure your children: If children are involved, get them invested in creating new holiday traditions and provide reassurance that they will be okay.
- Act in your children’s best interests: Make sure that your children’s interests are central to how you and your ex decide to divide time. Keep the plan as simple as possible so as to minimize the impact on your children.
- Create a schedule: Structure is necessary for healthy kids, but adults also benefit from having structure. At times of stress, structure can be all the more important. At the very least, give yourself target dates during the holidays to accomplish your goals.
- Seek help and support from family and friends: We all know that divorce is stressful. Count on family and friends to help you through difficult times, especially if your divorce is causing feelings of isolation, loneliness, or depression.
- Be realistic about the holidays: The snow-globe ideals of the Currier & Ives world are not real and few of us can imitate them effectively. Resist the temptation to idealize the holidays, especially during the first year following your divorce.
- Be healthy: Focus on your own well-being. Sleep and exercise, and don’t overeat or overdrink during the holidays.
- One day at a time: Be patient. The holidays could be a difficult time, but time will help.
If you would like more information about the legal services offered by Kallemeyn & Kallemeyn, call our team at 1-763-427-5131.